No offense is intended by these songs
11th April 1997
Earthed@geocities.com has done a parody of Lost
Sometimes I'm wandering under prehistoric skies I feel there’s a pterodactyl after my eyes I must go back - left my house keys behind Here she comes with her penetrating stare She looked at my mind and saw how much was there Quick calculation - there's not nearly enough CHORUS Because we're lost Have we got cash? Cold desert stars Feel them fall from the sky I want some pie Follow her down to worship some god Who tells me i’m pretentious - i wonder if that's odd Then he says, 'You're never listening' 'The pursuit of adulation is your marg and your bread It's an exquisite corpse and its lips are red But it don’t go well on toast CHORUS And you are lost Where is your map? Now hang up 'cause Madonna’s on hold She is so bold’ If you're alone and you're feeling blue Everyone in Persia probably’s eating stew I just hope they don’t get stuff in their beards Here she comes with her unforgiving web This Gothic look is really scraping the dregs It must be time to change our hair care, stare CHORUS Oh yes we’re lost Where are my keys? Look at the map Now add up the cost Do they take Visa?
28th March 1996
Here's Glen Thomas' Grinchillusionist
He's sour and he's cranky
Mean as well as lanky
On a day like today
Scowling from his sleigh
He's like a gecko on steroids
More than a little paranoid
Thieving all the goodies
While you think "how could he?"
He can turn dogs into reindeer
Spoil all the day's cheer
Bet you he'll eat well
While he pockets your dinner bell
They say that he's ugly
From the head down
And the "heart" part of his body is a corpse
But in the end he's sweet
And gives back all the treats
On Christmas, the Grinch, he's no longer warped
It's missing phrases, I know. Not my best literary effort, and definitely proof that I need a life. More verses, anyone?
"Internet Fever" - It'll push up the sales
Can you quote Python and the Holy Grail ?
Read about whales or read about Wales, got to
Make my own home page
Hear
Sounds sent from Sweden to here
"Thïs is my døg drïnkïng beer"
Flames come first as a scathing flood
"RTFM you thick newbie dud !"
This is the shedding of Internet blood
It's happening, I think
Once was nerdy
Click, click, link, MGET
Now it's groovy
Inside the trendy Internet
She offers file transfers to me
Ships all her warez FTP
Do not ask for whom tolls the bell
As millions connect to find out for themselves
That there's bugger all here, 'cept what you put here yourself, and it's
Owned by Bill Gates Inc.
Once was nerdy
Click, click, link, MGET
Now it's groovy
Inside the trendy Internet
Immovable streaks from where the dog peed
They make me want to turn to drink
If we work the long nights we'll get them out of sight
Soak 'em in bleach and it'll be alright
Altering corsets, it numbs my brain
Questionable sauces
Only ketchup stains, ketchup stains....
(Note: Yes, I wrote that just to get the last two lines into some kind of context :) )
Metropolis (You need to know that Marty doesn't know how to drive a car) There'll never be another quite like me I'm in The Church and my name's Steve Kilbey I'm always sad, I'll never be happy Cos I write songs but don't know what they mean Back in a minibus, it smells like a wrestler's truss Our next gig's in a shop It gets monotonous, no-one wants to tour with us Please come back Ploog and Koppes Things ain't so good since those two guys left us Our contract's gone and things are getting rough If they come back I'd let them do their thing But I'd draw the line at letting Peter sing Back in acoustic mode, we like doing two-man shows We can do all our songs Give me a microphone, I will sing in monotone With Marty strumming along Back on the stage we go, we won't do Unguarded Mo' But which song should we do ? Let's do "Grind" really slow, hey, where'd the audience go ? There's just no pleasing them two And it's only a smoke away I'll be there toni-i-i-ight Find the meaning I'm sure was there When I wrote it last night To hell with life, it's over, stop the ride I'm sick of it, I'm going to suicide Should I use a gun or a gleaming knife ? Bugger it ! I'll just let Marty drive ! Reputation (Destination) Our instruments have no way of measuring your feelings Can never peer into your mind to see what you believe in In the space between our albums, your memory of us fading If you buy this record our careers you will be saving Reputation, reputation Draconian charts let us know How well we have done, how well we have sold Our contract is safe, the album went "Gold" Our reputation starting to grow Our interviews are useless or forged beyond believing Rolling Stone made up some lies, we'll sue them by this evening In the space between my brain cells some songs have been discovered Rush into the studio, record them, sell them, try to help our... ....Reputation, reputation It's not a religion, despite our name Though Peter and Marty act like Abel and Cain And Kilbey and Ploog always fight over drugs Is reputation helped by this stuff ? Our engineers are burnt out, our roadies are mistreated I tell you it's the only way this record will be completed In the space between our concerts our hearing is diminished We can't go on if we can't tell who's playing and who's finished Reputation, reputation Violent Town (the LA tribute removed from Starfish) (To the tune of...you guessed it...Violet Town) Smashing his face against the ground They said "Welcome back to Violent Town You look kind of strange, so you must pay Get out of my face and "Have a nice day !" When I'm here I have this feeling I wish I could go from Violent Town Buildings throw shade to freeze the ground It's cold when you walk through Violent Town Don't look in their eyes, they'll take offense And probably sue for recompense Rpt. Chorus Big truth progress, it's all around They're so advanced here in Violent Town Boys with bazookas, girls with grenades Bribe cops with credit cards or pay cash and save !