Who is this jerk Brendon and why does he hate Steve Kilbey?

Disclaimer: This is a joke. This is only a joke. If this were really meant to offend Steve Kilbey or his fans, it would not be on this site. I hope everyone realizes that this page is meant to be silly and fun, not mean-spirited.

*Anti-Steve's Newest Criticism*

"He doesn't really sing, he just whines and covers it up with the same echo effects on every damned song"

 

Brendon is my fiancÚ, the anti-Steve Kilbey. He says that he'd rather do various agonizing activities (such as being run over by a Mack truck, or listening to AC/DC or maybe even the Backstreet Boys) than listen to Steve's music, read his poetry, or even look at a picture of him.

Brendon says Steve sings in a boring, grating, monotone voice. According to the Anti-Steve, SK's music is repetitive, and with nonsensical, whiny lyrics. He also thinks Steve is ugly ( jealousy reflex?). In the Anti-Steve's words, Steve Kilbey "thinks he's some kind of art-fag but actually has no talent."

If Steve Kilbey sucks, then what does Brendon consider to be good music? A quick glance through his CD collection is revealing: Pantera, Metallica, Gwar, and this godawful band called Life of Agony (or, as I like to call them, "Wah, my mom, wah, my girlfriend, wah, I'm going to slit my wrists").

[Addendum: Brendon has tried to defend himself by claiming that he doesn't really listen to the groups above, even though he owns tons of their CDs. So, to be fair, I will also add Dead Can Dance, Type O Negative, and Kitaro to the mix. However, he recently purchased some horrid screeching and growling Korn CD, which cancels out any good music in his collection.]

I include Brendon's oft-voiced opinion in Heliopolis because diversity is good. And because I like to make him appear foolish for knocking Steve Kilbey. Heh heh heh . . . he IS foolish, poor unenlightened creature. Pray for him, my friends, so that he may see the light.

Any comments or prayers for the Anti-Steve may be e-mailed to me with the subject line "Tell the Anti-Steve...", and I will forward them to him.


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